May be i have always kept this in my mind and have cherished this forever, but the uniqueness is that i feel the same every moment and that every second of life that im blessed and that i really am.
From the time the eternity began and limbs numb for anything to sink in the biological composition, the moments have their origin right from that time.. The newness to the atmosphere and yet the adaptance to the every changing cyclone around the ecosystem, the fact that self is small and everything else is all needs courage to display. Right from the sleep to snore, watch to more, walk to talk , breathe to teeth, every lilttle pain and every big pleasure shared with the fullness of heart and the joy of heaven.Unconditional in the approach and never was that hand in want of anything but just that we stand by and stand by with those eyes full of pride and honour for someone who has shown us the world and been there when the world waived a goodbye.. In a situation exemplified with the state of lonliness and dismair, the world just seem to have been moving matrix movements and you being in the middle of the road to see everyone pass by ,you held by , back there but you werent behind because the unconditional push from those hands just pushed you so hard and beleived in the capability of ultimate success. And its because of those hands I stand here to still believe in the good over evil and the conviction to start from where i left to conquer the fallacies of unexplored arena.
The decisions being ours thinking it to be the disability of their for the undefined circumstances of them have given the freedom and made possible to open the tentacles of inner self to all the virtues of life. Gave us all that we wanted at the level when the words were stiil in the throat just trying to be sure enough to be out and never asked for anything in return... absolute unconditional..Involved in the decision making not because they lacked because we were a part of them to always make us feel that yes we existed too..We shouted and complained and just saw the one side to take out all that we had but what was on the other side still remains as the silent hidden truth of embarrasement and repence. They are growing and much faster than what we even aticipated it to be like but with time the change has been just for us to make sure that a single scartch is not left without a bandaid. Been there done than,, every step full of encouragement and support to give us the energy so that the world could feel it with us..Gave us the right mantras and made sure that every soul that we encounter gets the energy to just be the right one..
Just did that and the legacy of the powerful individualism still follows..Honour to the greatness of this genre for being the epitome of selflessness and yet when life wants to give back , destiny hold its game for the life to remain spicy as ever. They say you get what you deserve - though i completely believe in the adage but my brain tinkers for all that happens which defines itself outside the purview of deserve.. With the powerful culture and the roots of karma embibed strongly in the viens of my body , the process allows me to take a turn and force me to think logically which possibly i hate and tell me that may be this is to be brunt and that every day will ahve a night but the fact remains in visualising that the night will end the morning will wake up with a happy dawn..
Acceptance all round the place and sorrow at the same corner shakes the neurons and always make you think and question the very basic of nature..Growth at each level yet the resistance of the character hurts the inner core.. But may be the karma has its own way of taking to the destiny.. Life may be small but just enough to make things right if that want inside is genuine , just touch the chord and the music will be ringing throught out the life..All that i have and and this is a dedication to those two people, the selfless and sacrificing M my MOM and the adorable and lovable D my DAD who have made me the way i am and also the reason for my thought process.. Withose innocent faces in front of my eyes every eveninig that i see them, full of expectations and the want to be as close as possible twirls me in every emotion of love and a want to do as much i can do from the mere existence.. As said earlier it has been my stupendous Karma in the past to have been blessed with the epitome of love and forgiveness..... Just wanna be there for any word they feel is a Help....
mmmmmmmmmm...... Now i guess my heart is really heavy..
sign off.....
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Sharing helps shed...
Emotional kid right from that pink cradle moving away to its glory under the green ceiling..Toys all around and hand at every angle of the body to safeguard the slightest worry of the world.
Writing those moment locked in that purple diary for ages and never having the guts to take them out in the vicinity of bodies all around.. Closed in those four walls in front of that mirror , that face that looks just the same as mine but not the one wanted to.. that immense emotion in front of that mirror to get doomeed in and forget the peripherals of the atmosphere..Just deep inside to question the reality and the reasoning of the set consequence.. hours spent to know and know just to know more..
Not once but many a times, may be the forte of the star sign extending the boundary of the act..Just within instil the nature of being the one and the only one...Faced with consequences of utter madness an loss of control , life on the track of dismal forgetful ness and abstraction..hidden inside the glutches of the action confered to the past and the period of bearance..On and on and on..Happiness all around and the emotions right but a glitch inside and just there to be there..Attempts after attempts and there is always a success when the efforts are genuine and from the heart.. But y that and how that when that never happened before and the peak of weakness never touched the feet of anybody.. it just happens..
With so much inside and the brunt of being the soldier to take the load of the country - a task to be accomplished absolutely harmless..conditions totally unfavourable and yet the country just needs to be happy as on the face of it it just looks real and right and the there is no other side to it..I may be wrong or im worng coz if there is an other side there is someone also standing on that other side to see the true colour and intrepret...The more kept inside the colour takes time to dilute.. Better it is that the solutions mix and form a new colour of compassion.. The nature right from that pink cradle below the yellow ceiling seem to be diluted and the movement taking the turn the other way round..
I shared and shared and shared those that i gulped in me to wait for that mirror to come in front of me to question the nuances of the past and delve deep further... Probably it was just waiting for that right thing to happen and yes i shared, i shared those "tears" on the pick of that voice, on the touch of that warmth and on the heartbeat of that body...
Writing those moment locked in that purple diary for ages and never having the guts to take them out in the vicinity of bodies all around.. Closed in those four walls in front of that mirror , that face that looks just the same as mine but not the one wanted to.. that immense emotion in front of that mirror to get doomeed in and forget the peripherals of the atmosphere..Just deep inside to question the reality and the reasoning of the set consequence.. hours spent to know and know just to know more..
Not once but many a times, may be the forte of the star sign extending the boundary of the act..Just within instil the nature of being the one and the only one...Faced with consequences of utter madness an loss of control , life on the track of dismal forgetful ness and abstraction..hidden inside the glutches of the action confered to the past and the period of bearance..On and on and on..Happiness all around and the emotions right but a glitch inside and just there to be there..Attempts after attempts and there is always a success when the efforts are genuine and from the heart.. But y that and how that when that never happened before and the peak of weakness never touched the feet of anybody.. it just happens..
With so much inside and the brunt of being the soldier to take the load of the country - a task to be accomplished absolutely harmless..conditions totally unfavourable and yet the country just needs to be happy as on the face of it it just looks real and right and the there is no other side to it..I may be wrong or im worng coz if there is an other side there is someone also standing on that other side to see the true colour and intrepret...The more kept inside the colour takes time to dilute.. Better it is that the solutions mix and form a new colour of compassion.. The nature right from that pink cradle below the yellow ceiling seem to be diluted and the movement taking the turn the other way round..
I shared and shared and shared those that i gulped in me to wait for that mirror to come in front of me to question the nuances of the past and delve deep further... Probably it was just waiting for that right thing to happen and yes i shared, i shared those "tears" on the pick of that voice, on the touch of that warmth and on the heartbeat of that body...
Can you really control it?
I have a big big question?? Do you have an answer>>> I bet even you with those few strands of gray hair on your head will fumble.... Coz the question is universally confusing and to be thought of and of and of till the time it becomes off...
The fact that you know everything is going right, everything fine and happy and gay but there is always something more left than what you wanted..something hiddden clitched in that lower abdomen of your body, running from the abdomen to the heart to the mind to the head making you go as restless as possible..Lot of anxiety, fun and wait for that next moment. Will it or will it not.. Standing on the other side of the terrace in the dark with the drizzle enough to put you in a dilema to still wait or go...The musical sound in the background and those eyes turned perpetually to the left to get that one glance of satisfaction..you know its right then why on the other side of the terrace? why that wait and not close to the proxmity of ultimate emotion. things are still right and you knew this would happen and when you know from the innner portion, its bound to happen.. Under the moonlight, far away from the world the anxieties collapse and the fact that the expression was mutual on both the sides of the terrace.. It was just there and right there but where was the control??? I dont know....
Not once, many times even after years of endearment and companionship with the particles around the air still seems to be changing because the temperature of the bosy just seems to be rising with the closeness of the want..One coin and two sides ,just sit behind and play the different roles of the play and you know that the reaction has a sense, complete sense.. That shiver in the body with the loud noise and loss of self, an absolute emotion of the contrast from the virtue under control...sudden expedition of life, leading to a track change and yet following the methodology of the old track and that where can you really control it?? i dont know..
Moment of excitement or may be more than that the moment of sadness, the words just seem to be at the end of the throat and eyes full of tears, no place to run but one place to confide in..The place looks empty and the world looks empty too..Devils advocate present everywhere and thats when you want it and there is no way out ...eyes all over the place , u know thats there but again the point comes to one simple question that is can you really control it? i dont know...
The fact that you know everything is going right, everything fine and happy and gay but there is always something more left than what you wanted..something hiddden clitched in that lower abdomen of your body, running from the abdomen to the heart to the mind to the head making you go as restless as possible..Lot of anxiety, fun and wait for that next moment. Will it or will it not.. Standing on the other side of the terrace in the dark with the drizzle enough to put you in a dilema to still wait or go...The musical sound in the background and those eyes turned perpetually to the left to get that one glance of satisfaction..you know its right then why on the other side of the terrace? why that wait and not close to the proxmity of ultimate emotion. things are still right and you knew this would happen and when you know from the innner portion, its bound to happen.. Under the moonlight, far away from the world the anxieties collapse and the fact that the expression was mutual on both the sides of the terrace.. It was just there and right there but where was the control??? I dont know....
Not once, many times even after years of endearment and companionship with the particles around the air still seems to be changing because the temperature of the bosy just seems to be rising with the closeness of the want..One coin and two sides ,just sit behind and play the different roles of the play and you know that the reaction has a sense, complete sense.. That shiver in the body with the loud noise and loss of self, an absolute emotion of the contrast from the virtue under control...sudden expedition of life, leading to a track change and yet following the methodology of the old track and that where can you really control it?? i dont know..
Moment of excitement or may be more than that the moment of sadness, the words just seem to be at the end of the throat and eyes full of tears, no place to run but one place to confide in..The place looks empty and the world looks empty too..Devils advocate present everywhere and thats when you want it and there is no way out ...eyes all over the place , u know thats there but again the point comes to one simple question that is can you really control it? i dont know...
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