Sometimes its quite strange that you feel you were always right the way you were but there is a social circle binding you to think totally opposite that you are not alone but that the aura you possess touches each and every soul..
Lots of moments, instances, the heart breaks , the feeling of being low, the butterflies in the stomach, the feeling that everyone is near but not close enough to feel the pricks just come by and you want to turn the pages of the past and rub through them to get sense of the ongoing change.
Things are the same or may be better and just a phase to be experienced, to be learnt, to grow in life and develop the feelings of just being the same or even more to what you were. Sometimes the words are not enough and you want the silence to say it all and sometimes the loudest word cannot be heard. The experience of living does not correspond to what you have thought but to a new set of complexities to be dealt with and mature with it.
Being at the best, playing multiple roles, trying to fit into every fixture without alterations yet trying to match up with the life's aspiration keeps you juxtaposed and wondering to make the decisions between being right or selfish.
All the moments of happiness pass by like the invisible air and the thoughts never click as everyting just seems to be right but any moment of disapproval leads to the spurt of unwanted sentences and words leading to guilt for a long time.
The action of acceptance, the inner talk of admitting to what is wrong, the tears on those eyes, the softness in the tone just seems to be sinking in. With the passage of time the word " getting accustomed" becomes the thought for the day and the life gets easy as it goes.
All the things have been piling up and whatever said and done , till my fingers dont listen to the bustling sound of typing on the keyboard the feelings are there unpunched and now that I make this confession that im light and fulfill the long awaited..
No comments:
Post a Comment